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Scarlett's Story
"Scarlett was a special baby..."
When we were around her, all of her friends and family, she had a special gift to make us all feel full of hope and happiness. She is impossible to explain, we just all new that she was just too special to be in this world very long. When we would hold Scarlett we all felt as if the spirit of the Holy Ghost was right within Scarlett. Scarlett had a calming peace about her that gave her family and friends deep happiness within a time of great despair. Scarlett we all know is at the right hand of Jesus, he called her home to complete a mission that we on this earth will never understand.
We found out that we were having Scarlett in March 2006. We were so excited her Daddy and I, we wanted to tell the whole world that we were going to have another baby! We decided to wait for a short time but we were just so excited we ended up telling everyone and swearing them to secrecy and then we figured out that everyone already knew. The pregnancy was really pretty great, I often worried because I felt her brother's move much earlier than I felt Scarlett move. I told myself that it was alright as a woman carries boys and girls differently. This is what I have been told, and what I experienced with her sister Alexis Grace. We found out you were a girl June 19th 2006! A girl! I could not wait I started buying new furniture for your room and the frilly clothes! Impractical fussy dresses await her still.
I awoke to a bad dream the morning of October 28, 2006. I woke up her daddy to talk to him about it, just after midnight. Through my foggy haze as I started to drift back to sleep I heard a voice call out to me more like a feeling, "Go to the Hospital" the feeling said, I argued back to that feeling "I have to work tomorrow, I told myself". "Go to the hospital now the feeling replied, or you will not get to keep your daughter". Up! Like lightning, I was on the phone to my mother to come stay with our boys! Josh told me to go back to sleep and that I did not seem like I was even in labor yet. I am not I said but we have to go! My mom got to our house and stated the same, "you don't look like you're in labor yet". "I am not we just have to go!" Again, this was my reply.
We got to the hospital around 1:30am and Josh was concerned that our reason for being there was more because I could not sleep and I was bored than labor. I told him a feeling kind of more of a voice in my head told me to come. He joked that maybe, we should go to the psychiatric ward instead. They paged a nurse, she was awesome. She thought sure enough I was in labor. Scarlett was born at 3:30 the following afternoon. She was so pretty! She was here she was safe and everything was alright. We could not have been a happier family! Our boys arrived with my parents and we felt for one brief moment elated in our joy. Josh's parents saw her shortly after she was born they had come to the hospital to check on us just as I was having her. They commented on her beauty and even got to hold her for a minute or two.
Three hours into our joy, Scarlett just seemed so sleepy, she was making strange noises like a kitten. The nurses whom are amazing in our small town, whisked her away. My parents arrived back at the hospital as they had taken our oldest boy Donevan, out to dinner. When my mom came into the room my mom and I went to go find Scarlett as she had been gone with the nurse almost twenty minutes. We found her in the ER with my wonderful doctor and the nurses looking onward. The doctor kept repeating, I just did not see it. My heart sank, see what? The doctor turned to me and my mom and asked have you seen anything strange, no she is perfect I thought. Just then my mother told the doctor that she had thought she had seen a seizure! No! I said far too gruffly! She did not see anything like that she is just sleepy! With that statement, our darling girl started to turn blue and started having obvious seizures. The Medical team quickly put her on oxygen and started to make arrangements to life flight Scarlett to the Newborn ICU at a hospital an hour away. I quickly checked out of the hospital and flew with Scarlett just about three hours after she was born.
The whole entire flight I kept thinking that Scarlett might have epilepsy for her whole life! Oh how awful. I kept thinking how hard it would be for her to learn to deal with. How foolish I must have seemed. Denial is a powerful emotion. That night we met the coolest, most gentle, intense man I have ever met. He was her new doctor, and he promised to do his best to help our baby
We stayed at the hospital that night waiting for another doctor who was going to be on call the next week to take over Scarlett's care and tell us what her early morning Cat scan may reveal. The next doctor was equally gentle, a very intelligent woman, who told us that our precious Scarlett had several brain abnormalities from most likely a virus called CMV that is much like a common cold. Scarlett was in really bad shape but even at that point we did not know the extent of the damage. This virus most everyone gets in early childhood it acts similar to a common cold, then you have immunity to it and its fine. CMV only causes major concern if a pregnant mother in her first or last trimester catches the virus, which I guess I did around eight weeks of my pregnancy. Scarlett was starting to have more seizures and they had done everything the doctor could to try to control them. We got the phone call that our baby was going to be transferred to Salt Lake City, Utah a three hour drive.
Josh and I jumped in the car and met Scarlett in SLC. They did an MRI on Scarlett early that morning. My sister MerriJane, had met us in Salt Lake. What a blessing, she was so full of hope, when we needed it the very most. The MRI showed that Scarlett had even more devastation than they initially imagined! She had four different brain abnormalities and the neonatologist, God Bless him, was very honest with us about what he saw. Scarlett was looking at a lifetime of feeding tubes and episodes on and off ventilators in order to survive. Her EEG showed that they were unsure of brain activity, as her brain was constantly seizing even when her body was not showing signs of seizures. One neurologist actually told us that we now had a different reality and that Scarlett, may open her eyes once in twenty years and that had to be our new victory. I thought that woman was out of her tree, how can she call that a little victory?
We started to make some choices for Scarlett, to free her from this broken body as Josh and I agreed, seemed the only way we could really show her how much we love her. We had some awesome Nurses in SLC and to her Neonatologist there I will be forever grateful. We came home and talked to Scarlett's Grandparents and told them the reality of what was happening, they were supportive. My mom had been in SLC with me for several days. Josh and I realized that sometimes doctors are wrong but sometimes they are not. Letting go of Scarlett seemed like the only way to show her we love her.
Josh, my Mom, and I brought Scarlett home on Thursday night. The doctor thought she would live for about two weeks. We watched our baby get to live and she brought all of us closer together. My sister in law, Verena, told me to make a scrap book and watch her live so we did. Our daughter got to hear her Daddy and I laugh through the tears. To Josh, I am so lucky to have you for my husband. It is a special kind of God's soldiers that can make you laugh while your daughter is slipping away in your arms. Our sweet Scarlett has the most amazing Daddy!
Scarlett got to meet her closest friends and a lot of her family in her short time here. We are so thankful to God for that cherished time. The following Tuesday, November 14 2006, Scarlett's Grandma and Grandpa, Owens and Aunts and Uncles came to say goodbye to her. We all saw a miracle, she was not going to be alright. The real miracle with Scarlett was that she was ever here, at all. Josh's parents have been truly amazing through this we are going to be grateful forever! We love you both so very much. My parents held me up when I thought I may fall. Momma, I wouldn't have made it without you, you'll never know how I gathered my strength from your love. I love you, and Dad more than I could ever tell you in a thousand lifetimes.
Scarlett seemed to be holding on the day she left this earth for something. After her family and friends had told that sweet baby goodbye, we were laying with her on my mother's bed. My mother was standing close bye as was her daddy. Our boy, Hunter age 2, was playing beside her on the bed. Our other boy, Donevan, asked me if he could say a prayer for her. I gently placed Scarlett between us and bowed my head. Donevan told Scarlett in a sweet little prayer that it was alright for her to go to heaven and when she got there to tell Alexis (our other daughter that died May 15th 2004) her big sister how much he loves her also, and to give her a big kiss when she got back to heaven. With that our little girl drew her last breath and never took another, she left this world peacefully and just slipped away while her brother prayed for her to safely go home to her Father in Heaven.
God Bless you Scarlett, you were so wonderful we would do it all again just have you the short time we did. Thank you baby for the blessings you gave so many...and for bring your family closer together. We will be with you again sweetheart, an eternal family. Until we can all be together again please know how much Daddy and I love and adore you! Your strength and spirit have inspired all that knew you. Thank you God for letting us have her the time that you did, it must have been hard for you to let go of such a wonderful spirit for so long, we cherish our moments with her. You will be carried in our heart sweet Scarlett until we are together forever again. We love you...
- Shared by her mother, Holly