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Laney’s Story
"As Laney's first birthday approaches, my heart fills with joy! I'll tell her story with a feeling of being blessed..."
Pregnancy was not as easy with Laney as it was with Mallerie, I was often sick and felt run down. I didn't drink or smoke, I worked out and ate right, and tried to take it easy. I even quit school for a semester! On April 20th around 2 am, my contractions had gotten pretty bad and figured it was time to wake Trey up to go to the hospital and wait for Laney! I was excited to finally meet and hold my daughter! We get to the hospital and get checked in, the OB comes in and examines me to see if it is active labor, it was so I get pain meds since I am having another C-section. We have to be pushed back too because another woman was having a difficult labor and really needed to go before me. I get to the OR and am given the epidural. Now we wait, OB comes in and does the proceedure and Laney's cry isn't very loud; instantly knew something was wrong. Trey was a rock and just kept calm and kept me calm while they sewed me up. I was shown Laney for a second and she was taken out of the room...
I am then wheeled to recovery. As I am coming out of the drug fog I want my baby! Where is my baby? What is going on? Anyone who knows me, knows that when I have questions, someone better have answers! The pedi doctor comes in and says, "Laney is having trouble breathing and may have mecconium aspiration..." Then proceeds to explain that she needs to go to another hospital with a NICU...so instead of being a joyous event, I am now faced with the decision of where to send my baby to fight for her life...not what I had expected. Trey and I decide to send her to Longview...We had another child that needed a mom and dad, so Dallas was out of the question...Before she leaves for Good Shepard, I demanded to see and hold my baby. I was told I couldn't hold her because she was intabated, but I could see her. They wheel my baby in my room in an incubator, needless to say I was devastated! I tried to leave and go with her but since I had just had a c-section the doctor wouldn't let me...Trey went with Laney and I was left alone...I don't think I fully understood what the hell was going on! I did find out the woman that went ahead of me was having complications due to drug use but her baby was fine...I was very angry that I did everything I was suspose to and my baby was sick, while some dumb woman did drugs while she was pregnant and her baby was fine.
I didn't sleep much and the next morning the tears came! I demanded to call and check on Laney, the nurses where very nice and let me. I talked with Dr. Chin and he explained that Laney has another illness and they are running tests to figure out what it was. Now I am just damn right angry! How did she get sick? What did I do wrong? Why do I have to listen to babies crying in other rooms while my room is empty? Laney was having difficulty breathing because her liver and spleen were enlarged due to an unknown illness. She also had low platelets, was jaundiced, had a rash all over her body, and was on life support.
Trey and I are introducted to a hell no parent should ever have to go through, waiting to find out what is wrong with our child. Anyway, our newborn baby girl is in the hospital and we don't know what is wrong with her and I'm in the hospital in Tyler and they won't let me go yet. I've become a pin cushion and have numerous vials of blood drawn to have tests run. I become introduced to a test called TORCH. It stands for Toxoplasmosis, Other, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus, and Heptitis. Well, while I'm waiting to be released I start doing a mental check list of my entire pregnancy and the times I was sick, once in the first trimester and the again at about 30 weeks. I finally get out of the hospital and get to ride 45 miles to Longview to see my baby. I swear to God I believe in angels because when I saw her, I wanted to crumple to the ground and cry. She looked like a science project with tubes and wires hooked up to her. Something was holding me up and making me feel comforted...anyone that knows me knows that I am not super religious but I believe that God is always with us.
I couldn't hold my baby and had to wear gloves to touch her. My heart just ached and I had to cry between the hospital and home because I still have to be momma to Mallerie. She kept wondering where "the baby was" and all I could tell her is that she wasn't ready to come home yet. We wait for a week and finally the test results come back and she has CMV or Cytomegalovirus. Never heard of it and started researching on the internet, bad idea for a hormonal mom with a sick baby in the hospital! Nothing but doom and gloom- see the following example taken from the CDC description:
Examples of symptoms or disabilities caused by congenital CMV:
- Temporary Symptoms Permanent Symptoms or Disabilities
- Liver problems
- Spleen problems
- Jaundice (yellow skin and eyes)
- Purple skin splotches
- Lung problems
- Small size at birth
- Seizures
- Hearing loss
- Vision loss
- Mental disability
- Small head
- Lack of coordination
- Seizures
- Death
In some children, symptoms do not appear until months or years after birth. The most common of these late-occurring symptoms are hearing loss and vision loss. Children with congenital CMV are more likely to have permanent disabilities and symptoms that get worse if they had symptoms of CMV infection at birth. But, some children who appear healthy at birth can develop hearing or vision loss over time due to congenital CMV. For this reason, if you know your baby was born with CMV, it is important to have his or her hearing and vision tested regularly.
Only 1% of all births every year have CMV, only 5% of that 1% are symptomatic, 90% of all symptomatic children have life long disabilities such as hearing loss, developemental delays, custodial children, look it up and check it out. There is a 30% mortality rate for symptomatic children. All of this info is what I was overwhelmed with the first week of her life...
When I contracted the disease determines how she affected, if I got CMV in the first trimester, she probably would have had severe brain damage and not have had a very good prognosis. First was the CAT scan, no calcium deposits...good news, a few days later she was checked for blindness, she can see, good news, a few days later hearing check, she hears for now but we are informed that she can lose her hearing later in life...fine, I can deal with that. Will my child be functional? Will she have any quality of life? Will she live? Not really question or issues I expected to have to deal with as a new mom!
Finally I get to hold my baby when she is 10 days old. I put every bit of energy I had into that child to get better every time I went to see her. Now remember, we are driving at least twice a day to Longview, while I am trying to recover from a c-section, and getting up every 3 hours to pump breast milk...her platelet count falls and we have to have another transfusion...tends to happen when your liver and spleen don't work. Her o2 sats wouldn't stay above 90 so we couldn't bring her home...waiting sucked!
Finally after 3 weeks, Laney gets to come home. It was Mother's Day and I think that was the best gift I have ever had. Since that day, I thank God for my children and husband every day. It has been a rough year, Laney has severe reflux so getting her to gain weight was difficult for awhile, she really didn't do much until she was 6 months old because her body was healing itself so developmentally she is a little behind. We do PT and OT twice a week and she improves every session. I have kind of been all about family the past year and am just now starting to ease up on always being with the kids, especially Laney! Going to school full time is also tough but I realize I have to make time for me and need to have fun occasionally!
I know I am truly blessed to have Laney and Mallerie and Trey. I know I would have never made it without the support we received from family and friends. I guess I just needed to get this out in written form because I have been promising myself I would. One thing I can say, Laney is a fighter and stubborn just like her mom! So far so good! Many blessings and good to all that decide to read Laney's story! Maybe it will give someone hope when they need it!
- Shared by her mother, Stephanie