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Caitlin's Story
"Fifteen years ago we laid eyes on a little girl who had already created quite a stir before she ever entered the world..."
As her father, I had been on an emotional roller-coaster cresting and falling with each visit to the doctor. As the pregnancy developed we found ourselves further and further down the rabbit hole.
In 1995, Caitlin was born and given very little chance to survive long enough to be discharged. When she was discharged she was not expected to live to see her second birthday.
Now we will be celebrating her fifteenth. I cannot put in to words how incredible this is to me on a myriad of levels. My mind is a whirling mess of memories of all we've been through in this span of time. The effect it has had on the rest of the family I cannot truly say but I see my children and the way they interact with their sister and how it bleeds over to how they treat others, especially their affection and understanding of those with challenges in their health.
All these years we've have had people tell us they can't imagine how we do it. In thinking about it all, I mean all of it at once, I can't either. It's staggering as the thought of years of medical appointments, hospitalizations, surgeries, days on end of sleepless nights, and life interrupted again and again weighs on my mind as I type.
But it didn't happen all at once. Caitlin taught us one day at a time. God carried us when the load was unbearable and, like the loving parent teaching a child to ride a bike, His hand was always ready to catch us if we started to crash. He sent a great many people into our lives to keep us going. From friends and specialists, to strangers met at places like The Ronald McDonald House, someone always seemed to cross our path when we needed them most.
When we were strong enough, sometimes others crossed our path who were struggling caring for a child facing life threatening challenges. A parent's love isn't reserved to the healthy and happy child and that can make the challenge that much harder. It's one thing to know that there is illness and death out there but it is another thing altogether to face it 24 hours a day. There are no sick days. There is no real vacation from the worry. There is no running away. There is, however, strength to face adversity. Compassion to lift your heart. Light in the darkest hours.
Caitlin has been and continues to be an inspiration to me personally. Her example of smiling in the face of adversity and the threat of death has carried me through a great many of my own challenges. I cannot look at her or think of her without thinking of my Heavenly Father and his love for me. It has brought me to reflect on how it must be to worry over all of us from my perspective of a parent of only a few.
Caitlin is fifteen. That is more than five thousand days beyond what anyone expected her to be a part of our lives. She is forever a part of a great many others lives as she has touched others in the many places we've lived and all those who have come into contact with her. Her perseverance in the face of the statistically impossible has left many scratching their heads and overcome at times. Medical providers moved to tears when they realize they are witnesses to something that they were taught should not be possible.
We recently mourned the loss of a fifteen year old girl only a few months older than Caitlin who touched people in much the same way. Teaching the learned, touching and lifting others around her.
Caitlin has made it very clear that she chooses life. She chooses to stay on this Earth. She chooses to continue to teach, to touch, and to share. We cherish each day we've had with her, and we hope to have many more, but we recognize that at any moment our time with her may be interrupted until such time that illness no longer exists and our frail human bodies become immortal.
I've often dreamt of walking, running, or dancing with Caitlin. It leads me to wonder just what sort of person she would be if there was no such thing as CMV. What would she look like? How would she act? Then I begin to wonder, how would I be different? How would our family be different? I'm not sure I would change anything if I had that power or was granted that wish.
Happy Birthday Caitlin. It's your birthday but you are a gift unto us.
- Shared by her father, Jack